The Wired for Well-Being Podcast

Finding Calm in a Fast-Moving World

In this episode of Wired for Well-Being, Dr. Jeffrey Rutstein explores one of the most common struggles of modern life—how to live with purpose and connection without feeling overwhelmed.
Through a heartfelt listener question and a reflective conversation with producer Steve Lessard, Jeffrey examines what happens when our desire to move gently through life collides with a world that feels fast, anxious, and demanding. Together they unpack the deeper nervous-system dynamics behind this tension—especially for those who live with complex PTSD or chronic dysregulation—and reveal how slowing down isn’t weakness but wisdom.
You’ll learn:• Why people with complex PTSD often swing between high activation and total shutdown—and how to gently find stability between the two.• How early relational trauma trains the nervous system to match others’ needs and rhythms instead of our own.• The difference between matched and mismatched neuroception—and how it shapes the way we read safety or danger in everyday interactions.• How anger, when reclaimed, can become a constructive source of motivation and perseverance rather than collapse or self-blame.• Simple ways to regulate in real time, including hand-to-heart grounding and lengthening the exhale to double the inhale.• How self-compassion rewires shame at the nervous-system level and becomes the bridge between protection and participation.
As Jeffrey reminds us, “You don’t have to join the world’s frenzy to belong to it.” By honoring our natural rhythm, learning to listen to our body’s cues, and responding with kindness instead of pressure, we can stay engaged with life without losing our peace.
Have a question for Jeffrey? Leave a voicemail at 866-357-5156. If you can’t reach that number, record a voice memo and email it to hello@drjeffreyrutstein.com.
Learn more about the Healing Trauma Program: drjeffreyrutstein.com/links
The content in this podcast is for informational purposes only and not intended as professional mental health advice. Always consult qualified healthcare providers for medical concerns.

What’s Controlling You (Without You Knowing It)

In this episode of Wired for Well-Being, Dr. Jeffrey Rutstein unpacks what your nervous system actually is—and why understanding it can change everything.
Through a lively back-and-forth with producer Steve Lessard, Jeffrey explains how the nervous system acts as your body’s “command center,” running automatic survival programs that once kept us safe from saber-toothed tigers—but now often hijack our peace when we’re simply stuck in traffic or waiting on a text.
You’ll learn:• The four main nervous-system states—fight, flight, freeze, and shutdown—and how each shows up in the body and mind.• Why your state drives your story, and how shifting state first can quiet loops of anger, fear, or collapse.• How trauma, genetics, and early experience shape your “set point” for safety and reactivity.• What Polyvagal Theory reveals about our built-in capacity for regulation, connection, and compassion.• Simple body-based ways to begin collaborating with your nervous system instead of fighting it.
As Jeffrey shares, “There are no bad states—only information.” When we learn to listen to the messages of our body with kindness, we stop blaming ourselves for being reactive and start discovering how to return to safety, presence, and choice.
Have a question for Jeffrey? Leave a voicemail at 866-357-5156. If you can’t reach that number, record a voice memo and email it to hello@drjeffreyrutstein.com.
Learn more about the Healing Trauma Program: drjeffreyrutstein.com/links
The content in this podcast is for informational purposes only and not intended as professional mental health advice. Always consult qualified healthcare providers for medical concerns.

When Self-Awareness Turns Into Self-Blame

In this episode of Wired for Well-Being, Dr. Jeffrey Rutstein explores what’s really behind the question so many of us ask: “What’s wrong with me?”
Through two powerful listener questions, Jeffrey and producer Steve Lessard reveal how our nervous system—not our character—drives much of what we feel, believe, and do in relationships and in healing. You’ll discover how protective patterns like over-giving, shame, and self-blame arise from old nervous-system habits, and how shifting to curiosity and compassion can transform them.
You’ll learn:• What neuroception is—and how our body’s unconscious “danger detector” can misread safety and threat.• How relational habits like over-extending, people-pleasing, and caretaking often reflect survival programs, not personality flaws.• Why feedback that feels shaming often reveals the other person’s dysregulation more than your own.• How to tell when intrusive trauma memories mean something still needs gentle attention—not that you’re doing healing “wrong.”• The liberating shift from self-judgment to seeing every state—anger, fear, collapse—as information, not confirmation of your worth.
As Jeffrey shares, “Our state drives our story.” By learning to recognize when we’re viewing life through a defensive state—and how to come back into regulation—we begin to see ourselves and others more clearly, with compassion, freedom, and ease.
Have a question for Jeffrey? Leave a voicemail at 866-357-5156. If you can’t reach that number, record a voice memo and email it to hello@drjeffreyrutstein.com.
Learn more about the Healing Trauma Program: drjeffreyrutstein.com/links
The content in this podcast is for informational purposes only and not intended as professional mental health advice. Always consult qualified healthcare providers for medical concerns.

The Hidden Patterns That Block Real Connection

In this episode of Wired for Well-Being, Dr. Jeffrey Rutstein explores why connection can still feel hard—even after years of inner work. He traces how protective nervous-system patterns (especially shame) can keep us small in relationships, and how learning to feel safe in our bodies lets us move from surviving to belonging. Jeffrey also shares why some friendships feel “easy,” how trust builds through repeated safety, and what to do when old roles (like over-caretaking) limit mutuality. Through one powerful listener question, Jeffrey unpacks the subtle habits that block closeness—deflecting compliments, asking instead of self-revealing, letting ourselves be chosen rather than choosing—and offers practical steps to retrain the system toward ease and reciprocity. You’ll learn:• How shame fuels “I’m not enough” loops that short-circuit connection—and simple ways to interrupt them. • Body-based cues of safety (ease, softening, breath) and how repeated safe moments become trust over time. • Signs you’re stuck in an old role (e.g., echoist patterns around narcissistic dynamics) and how to practice taking up space. • Conversation micro-skills for mutuality—receiving praise, sharing a little more than feels “safe,” and noticing when you’re abandoning yourself to fit in. • Why working with your state first (friendly touch, lengthening the out-breath, orienting) makes contemplative practice and real-world relating easier. By learning to spot these patterns and befriend your nervous system, you can risk a bit more authenticity, deepen trust, and experience relationships that feel nourishing, mutual, and real. Have a question for Jeffrey? Leave a voicemail at 866-357-5156. If you can’t reach that number, record a voice memo and email it to hello@drjeffreyrutstein.com.Learn more about the Healing Trauma Program: drjeffreyrutstein.com/links
The content in this podcast is for informational purposes only and not intended as professional mental health advice. Always consult qualified healthcare providers for medical concerns.

Why Your Nervous System Holds On to Old Patterns

In this episode of Wired for Well-Being, Dr. Jeffrey Rutstein explores the theme of patterns—how nervous-system loops like OCD rumination and compulsive behaviors can take over when we’re dysregulated, and how “memory” (both explicit and implicit) keeps the past alive in our bodies. Jeffrey shares how to recognize when your system is in flight energy, why resisting vs. surrendering to compulsions matters, and what it really takes to “update” the nervous system so you can return to center.
Through two powerful listener questions, Jeffrey unpacks the rise of OCD during stress and the science (and limits) of memory reconsolidation—offering practical, compassionate ways to relate to your system in real time. You’ll learn:• How OCD-style looping often signals a flight-state nervous system—and what actually lowers arousal.• Simple regulation practices (e.g., friendly touch like hand-on-heart, lengthening the out-breath, and naming what’s happening) that reduce compulsive pull.• The difference between explicit and implicit memories—and why “body memories” can drive behavior without a story.• A grounded view of memory reconsolidation in trauma work—and why day-to-day state regulation often helps more than chasing specific memories.
By learning to spot these patterns and befriend your nervous system, you can loosen the grip of compulsions, relate differently to old memories, and spend more of your life regulated, present, and connected.
Have a question for Jeffrey? Leave a voicemail at 866-357-5156. If you can’t reach that number, record a voice memo and email it to hello@drjeffreyrutstein.com.
Free gift: drjeffreyrutstein.com/links
The content in this podcast is for informational purposes only and not intended as professional mental health advice. Always consult qualified healthcare providers for medical concerns.

From Confusion to Clarity: The Role of Discernment

In this episode of Wired for Well-Being, Dr. Jeffrey Rutstein explores the theme of discernment: knowing when to share family stories of trauma, and how to recognize whether the signals from your nervous system are pointing to the past or the present moment. Relationships, healing, and even daily responsibilities can feel confusing when old wounds echo in our bodies, but discernment helps us find clarity and a path forward.
Through two powerful listener questions, Jeffrey unpacks the impact of intergenerational trauma and the subtle cues of dread or responsibility that can shape our daily lives. You’ll learn:
How to discern whether it’s the right time—and the right motivation—to share difficult family history.
Why intergenerational trauma impacts nervous systems across generations, and how awareness can be liberating.
How to recognize the difference between everyday stress and deeper, inherited patterns of dread.
Practical ways to stay curious and compassionate toward your own nervous system signals.
By learning to listen closely and discern wisely, you can begin to break cycles of suffering, honor your own healing, and create safer, more connected relationships.
Do you have a question you'd like to ask? If so, leave a voicemail at 866-357-5156.  If you're unable to reach that number, you can record a voice memo and email it to hello@drjeffreyrutstein.com. 
To learn more and receive a free gift, visit: drjeffreyrutstein.com/links
The content in this podcast is for informational purposes only and not intended as professional mental health advice. Always consult qualified healthcare providers for medical concerns.

Acceptance and Change: From Criticism to Compassion

In this episode of Wired for Well-Being, Dr. Jeffrey Rutstein explores how to hold both acceptance and change when living with chronic illness or the aftermath of trauma. So often, we feel caught between two extremes—resisting what is or pushing ourselves to change too quickly. But what if there’s a third way: partnering with your nervous system in compassion and curiosity?
Through listener questions, Jeffrey addresses two powerful themes. The first caller shares the struggle of accepting the limitations of chronic illness without giving up on growth. Jeffrey reframes acceptance not as resignation, but as a way to release self-judgment and create the conditions for meaningful, sustainable change.
The second caller asks about the role of anger in healing. Instead of treating anger as something to burn through or suppress, Jeffrey shows how it can be understood as a message from the nervous system—one that points to deeper hurts, disappointments, or experiences of unfairness. When approached with compassion, anger can soften and become a doorway to regulation, connection, and healthier relationships.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
How to accept what is without giving up on growth and change.
Why self-judgment and shame can deepen suffering—and how to shift toward compassion.
Practical ways to listen to your nervous system and work with its signals.
How to navigate anger as information and transform it into a tool for connection.
Why real healing often requires befriending your nervous system instead of battling it.
This episode is an invitation to stop fighting yourself and discover how acceptance, compassion, and curiosity can unlock new pathways to healing.
Do you have a question you'd like to ask? If so, leave a voicemail at 866-357-5156.  If you're unable to reach that number, you can record a voice memo and email it to hello@drjeffreyrutstein.com. 
To learn more and receive a free gift, visit: drjeffreyrutstein.com/links
The content in this podcast is for informational purposes only and not intended as professional mental health advice. Always consult qualified healthcare providers for medical concerns.

Stop the Struggle: Work With Your Nervous System

In this episode of Wired for Well-Being, Dr. Jeffrey Rutstein explores how our nervous system shapes the way we feel, act, and heal—and what it means to become an ally to it rather than an adversary. Every day, our nervous system quietly directs our emotions and choices, often without our awareness. But when we learn how to listen, we discover that states like fear, anger, or overwhelm are not signs of weakness, but vital messages that can guide us toward healing and balance.
Jeffrey answers two powerful listener questions. The first explores the difference between top-down and bottom-up processing: should we try to manage our nervous system states with our thinking mind, or allow the body’s messages to guide us? You’ll learn how curiosity and awareness can shift us out of being hijacked by our states and into a place of regulation and choice.
The second caller shares about navigating fear and overwhelm in a long healing journey. Jeffrey reframes these experiences as signals from the nervous system, pointing toward the need for self-care, boundaries, and sustainable routines. Rather than interpreting overwhelm as failure, listeners will discover how to see it as feedback—and how this shift opens the door to compassion and empowerment.
In this episode, you’ll learn:Why the nervous system reacts the way it does, and how trauma can make it more sensitive.
The difference between top-down (thought-driven) and bottom-up (body-driven) processing.
Practical tools to move from fight, flight, or shutdown into regulation and choice.
How fear and overwhelm can become guides toward greater balance, not obstacles.
Why curiosity is one of the most powerful tools for nervous system healing.
With warmth and clarity, Jeffrey shows that by understanding our nervous system, we can stop blaming ourselves and begin to create real, sustainable change.
Do you have a question you'd like to ask? If so, leave a voicemail at 866-357-5156.  If you're unable to reach that number, you can record a voice memo and email it to hello@drjeffreyrutstein.com. 
To learn more and receive a free gift, visit: drjeffreyrutstein.com/links
The content in this podcast is for informational purposes only and not intended as professional mental health advice. Always consult qualified healthcare providers for medical concerns.

How Your Nervous System Shapes Relationships—and What to Do About It

In this first episode of The Wired for Well-Being Podcast, Dr. Jeffrey Rutstein explores how our nervous system shapes relationships—and how it can also be a path to healing. Relationships can bring joy, love, and connection, but they can just as easily stir conflict, confusion, or even emotional pain.
Through two powerful listener questions, Jeffrey unpacks the nervous system’s role in both leaving a painful relationship and entering new ones. You’ll learn:        •        How experiences like narcissistic abuse can linger in the nervous system—and how to begin restoring trust in yourself.        •        Practical tools for regulation, grounding, and self-care that help you heal after relational trauma.        •        What it means to listen to your body’s signals when navigating new friendships or intimacy.        •        How to discern whether someone feels truly safe, using the nervous system’s built-in “neuroception.”
Whether you’re healing from a difficult past or seeking a deeper, more authentic connection, this episode offers a compassionate perspective and practical steps to help you move forward.
Do you have a question you'd like to ask? If so, leave a voicemail at 866-357-5156.  If you're unable to reach that number, you can record a voice memo and email it to hello@drjeffreyrutstein.com. 
To learn more and receive a free gift, visit: drjeffreyrutstein.com/links
The content in this podcast is for informational purposes only and not intended as professional mental health advice. Always consult qualified healthcare providers for medical concerns.
 

Introducing the Wired for Well-Being Podcast

Wired for Well-Being is a new weekly podcast with Dr. Jeffrey Rutstein, designed to help you unlock the healing power of your own nervous system. Each week, Dr. Rutstein answers real questions and shares simple, life-changing tools so you can shift from stress to ease, and from disconnection to lasting well-being.
Visit www.drjeffreyrutstien.com for more information
Do you have a question you'd like to ask? If so, leave a voicemail at 866-357-5156.  If you're unable to reach that number, you can record a voice memo and email it to hello@drjeffreyrutstein.com. 
The content in this podcast is for informational purposes only and not intended as professional mental health advice. Always consult qualified healthcare providers for medical concerns.